Game, Set, Match

Photo by Moy

Earlier in the week, on Insta I gave a quick public service announcement letting my nearest and dearest 200 friends/followers know that I will be missing in action for the next two weeks due to my raging obsession with the tennis. And I have kept absolutely true to my word in that I have spent this entire past week either in front of my TV or court side. An actual conversation that took place last week was:

Friend: Hey Moy, do you want to go out for froyo tomorrow? I know next week I won’t be able to drag you away from the TV.

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Thanks Nick, for validating my recent behaviour –

The obsession has been real. Our television has been on from 9 in the morning till 1am or whenever the last match finishes. I schedule my social outings around the tennis and who’s playing. I have also been to watch the tennis 3 times in the first week. I’m even writing this post as I’m watching the Tomic v Murray match. And I don’t even care who wins as I dislike both players. But go Tomic to be patriotic and what not. If this isn’t enough indication that I love the Australian Open then I don’t know what is. My tennis career actually finished in Year 4 when I continually failed to be able to serve the ball over the net, but for some reason I still just absolutely love watching it. Here’s a post I wrote last year on why I love it, so, take it from the self-professed guru herself and here are my top things to do whilst at the Australian Open 2016 if you get yourselves down there (WHICH I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU DO):

1. Just get a ground pass. These unfortunately are going up in price every year but get them before the tournament begins and you can save a wonderful $5 of tickets!!!!!!!! With a ground pass you can get into Hisense Area and especially in the first few rounds you can see some really awesome names play, including Mr bad boy himself, Kyrgios. The ground pass also gets you access to all the practice courts where you can stalk the bejeesus out of your favourite players, stand under the sweltering sun as you get a cramp whilst you tiptoe to try and see over the 25 heads in front of you to see Federer practicing, and generally attempt to meet some of the world’s best sports men and women.

Me and virgin Mary  Tsonga!

2. The atmosphere on Grand Slam Oval is so good. I literally hit the blue tarmac and feel at home. There are so many things to do – you can do what I do and go to each stall to get a few freebies and get the really daggy souvenir photo for the mems and the lols, or you can get some food. However, since they charge $10 for 2 SUSHI ROLLS WHICH IS AN ABSOLUTE ABOMINATION AND I REFUSE TO ENDORSE SUCH RIDICULOUS PRICES, this brings me to my next point.

This image soothes my soul.

3. This year they have introduced the Australian Open Festival at Birrarung Marr which I think is a fabulous idea! It’s a free festival just a quick walk away from the tennis and along the banks of the Yarra, but still in the heart of Melbourne. They have food there from some of Melbourne’s yummiest eateries such as Huxtaburger, Mamasita and Combi if you want to relive your stomach from the other junk you’re pumping into it. The absolute show-stopper is the Messina stall there, as they have Rafa’s Jaffas – a little cylinder of churro flavoured gelato with chocolate mousse, orange gel and dried orange, and Lley Lley’s Lamingtons – a lamington sandwich with vanilla bean ice-cream and raspberry sauce amongst other creations. PEOPLE – it’s tennis themed desserts; what more could you want?!


4. At the festival, you can grab some food and sit on the really comfy array of bean bags, couches or even the grass (provided shitstorm Melbourne weather hasn’t rained the night before), and watch the match with the crowd whilst gazing over the Melbourne skyscraper skyline. What an ACE combination.

In the words of Nigel Thornberry, just smashing.

5. Turn your TV on and watch some great night time matches. Nothing irritates me more than turning the TV on and seeing that Channel 7 is airing ‘Cats that Make you Laugh Out Loud’ or some absolute rubbish like that. So, at night time the marketing whizzes are sure to put on the best of the best tennis players, providing you with quality entertainment well into the night. If you’re lucky you may even be treated to Bruce McAvaney’s absolutely pointless driveling that he calls ‘commentating’.

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Me everytime I hear Bruce talking –

6. Get into the spirit and get some Heineken into you. Yes I know I’ve complained about how expensive the tennis is and whilst they are ridiculously overpriced (who the flip is going to pay $5 for water?!) I justify alcohol consumption at the tennis by thinking “oh at least this is going towards an event I enjoy going to.” Heineken gives you an awful beer smell so make sure you bring some gum with you, and Canadian Club also goes down a treat.

Ft a strategically placed Heineken and my adorable tipsy friend.

7. Finally, get wrapped up in the magic atmosphere of a match. Stay in a court for the entire match and ride the absolute roller coaster of emotions as the player wins, loses and goes through everything between. The crowd gets so enthusiastic and you can always count on some diehard fans to start an ill-fated Mexican wave. You actually get tired just watching the players run around so you have so much more respect for them. You can share their sense of accomplishment as they win and their disappointment as they lose, and all of a sudden an intimate match between 2 people gets shared with a stadium full of people.

This is 2 weeks of absolute magic, madness and mayhem in Melbourne so I’ll see you guys again after Sunday 31st January when I’ll be in a deep dark place due to the Aus Open ending for another year.

I CHALLENGE you to find a more WINNING combo than me + tennis,


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