I like big chocolate balls and I cannot lie

Photo by Jennifer Pallian

Oh hi, I’m Moy the Masterchef. Not really, but that title has some nice alliteration. In frank reality, my cooking skills are so little to none that when I actually do cook it’s something short of a miracle. Today, I’m coming to you with a recipe that doesn’t require any pots or pans (yay!) nor knives. It’s mainly these 2 things that my mum thinks I’m a hazard with – and I think for good reason, because I manage to injure myself with nothing in my hand, let alone some lethal kitchen utensils.

But, apart from my inability to function in my kitchen; even rookies like me can cook this!

Ok, I am a massive sugar craver. Like no matter how full I am, the thought of dessert always makes me hungry. But, like every other person, we all wanna be fit and eat healthy and have a body like Karlie Kloss. Let me give you a pretty typical scenario of the raging war inside my body:

Stomach: Omg, all I want is some sugar like please some chocolate would taste so good right now
Mind: STOP you already had so much food already today, you know you’re just going to hate yourself after for eating so much and then freak out about putting weight on.

This is me all day everyday. But no fear no fear, Moy’s got this.

INTRODUCING MY HEALTHY CHOC TRUFFLE BALLS! You don’t need to feel guilty about eating these because they are full of all the healthy pretentious health food products that cost $15 a kilo and make you feel like a Paleo freak.



  • 1 cup of Medjool dates
  • 1 cup of almonds and any other nuts that take your fancy
  • 1/3 cup of cacao powder
  • 1/3 coconut oil
  • 2 tablespoons of chia seeds
  • 1/2 cup of natural shredded coconut


1. Soak the dates in warm water to soften them up


2. Whilst you’re waiting for the dates to soften up, take your cup of nuts and blend them up so that they become a powdery texture. I blended these in our overly pretentious ThermoChef, but any food processor would do the job fine. Word of warning; the almonds make a horrendous sound when they’re getting blended, it’s literally like you’re blending chalk.


Aim for this consistency.

3. Blend the cacao, coconut oil, chia seeds, shredded coconut and dates. The dates should be soft by now, so tear them apart and pitt them. Blend everything so it’s smooth, and there are no chunks from the dates. Then add the powdered nuts, until you reach a smooth consistency.


4. Then take the mixture and using a spoon, scoop little balls. Use your hands to roll them in spheres, and coat them with some shredded coconut. Don’t be afraid to get messay.


5. Pop them in an airtight container in the fridge, and wait for them to harden up.


Now you have to wash the entire mess in the kitchen, because it actually looks like a tornado hit it. Good luck, the coconut oil is a bitch to wash out.


It’s a love-hate relo.

So this is a super generic recipe; feel free to add in your own fun ingredients like dried blueberries, cranberries, or even roll it in some cacao and some pistachios. Let your freedom reign in the kitchen!

Happy guilty-free eating!

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