Get in loser, we’re going shopping.

Photo by Freestocks

Ahhhhh Christmas. The season of festivities, people eating excessive amounts of sugar, bathing in alcohol, and here in Australia, eating large amounts of melted pavlova mess because your genius dad put hot berry compote on cold whipped cream thus resulting in an avalanche of meringue. But, it wouldn’t be Christmas without ye old BOXING DAY SALES.

It is somewhat like the circle of life; eating on Christmas Day, and then burning off the calories (ok some, not all, that Christmas pizza I had has not disappeared) whilst you fight to the death and slap some hoes whilst fighting to get your size at Kookai. Boxing Day sales has never particularly attracted me; purely because I legit have gotten better sales from shops during other times of the year. One time, I got a cardigan for $6 from $100. True story. Also, the sales often last for at least a week after Boxing Day, so you have plenty of time to shop in peace, other than on the absolute manic madness of Boxing Day.

This year, I have had the absolutely pleasure of working at one of the biggest shopping centres in Australia (please note, I am saying this sentence laced with sarcasm). I shit you not when I say Boxing Day shopping was the 76th Hunger Games, where the food court was the flippin Cornucopia. And yippee for me; my shop is located right next to the food court. Simply walking through the centre to get to work on time was the Amazing Race, and the obstacles were the 28479387 handbags/shopping bags/little children/2 meter wide prams that some parents thought would be delightful to bring to a crowded shopping centre so that their 3 month old babies could enjoy the view, that I had to hurdle over.

Chaos was an understatement.

Not to mention, I was closing the store that day, and it was legit like some people had gone trekking in the Himalayas before they set foot in our shop because the ground was filthy. There was mud, hair; because the first thing you do when you set foot in a store is malt (obviously), and chicken. A great trifecta.

So that was my Boxing Day shopping experience, scarring enough to last a year, because I’ll probably be back next Boxing Day.

Keep fighting for those sales girls,

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